Sunday, June 04, 2006

Of Monkeys and Mantech

I've started believing in the Infinite Monkey Theorem seriously; How else can you explain these facts :

1.) During the very short period I was at home, DD1 manages to play 'BeLadingaLa Bale', one of the rarest of gems to have come out of the dingy, dank dirtmine that the Kannada film industry is. It's the story of a Chessmaster, Anant Nag, and a mysterious fan of his who reveals who she is through ways so interesting that you'd refuse to think it was Kannada movie! If you're a Kannadiga, and have not seen this movie, I will not say a thing to you. Not even my usual 'Ninna Ee Janma enu, hindina n janmagalu waste-e'. You deserve to grieve in silence.

If you're not a Kannadiga, the only recourse left for you is to learn Kannada and see this movie!

2.) Zee MGM finally decided to stop their 24/7, back-to-back run of 'Gangsters of New York', and aired a beautifully made Swedish-Arabic film called 'Zozo'.The greatest achievement of a director is when he can tell a story in a language that a listener doesn't understand, and Mr. Joseph Forres has truly done it.Was real sad that it didn't win an Oscar, though.

In other developments, I've just realised its that time of the year again! The time of infinite indecision,of a hundred equal choices,of sleepless nights spent in futile analyses of merits of each viable option, yes,its JEE results time! I belive my two years at IITM have given me adequate authority to speak about one branch in particular, and, with your permission,I shall proceed to advertise it.

So,Why should you join Mech at IITM? What is it that is the Hallmark of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras? The very vast opportunities that beckon after graduating ? The relatively better chances for pursuing higher education abroad ? The relatively less intensive course load that will enable one to enjoy at least a bit of one's college years? The multitude of companies that come for placement? Or, that most basic of human emotions, Schadenfreude, at seeing the
Elec junta suffer?


The Reason to join Mech IITM, the sine qua non of its very sustenance,is a course called ManTech.

1. For starters, where, in all of the fine Institutions in this land, will you find a professor having an grand unparalleled attendance record of 48% ? Yes, for a change, the prof never turns up!

2. If you thought that the time when you read a novel sitting in the last bench of Zoology class was fun,come on over to any of last 10 (out of the 15 available) rows to find Daily Crossie contests, heated debates on Page 3 personalities, learned discourses on why exactly Mr.S missed out on the X coordship in Shaastra/Saarang, and a critical analysis on precisely why that chick in that ad in Outlook has a high coefficient of prurient appeal.

3. It has been catogerically proved (paper on this to follow, CB, what say?) that a typical Mantech class cannot be modeled as a Chaotic system. Indeed, the Chaos model is inadequately stochastic ! Why? A Chaotic system is, by defenition, sensitive only to the inital conditions. However, in the case of a ManTech class, the system tends to go hayware at even the slightest disturbance anytime. Proof? The prof walks in, takes out a pen drive, and inserts it into the comp. He however does not condescend to such plebian labour as turning the comp on. The usual levels of random noise continue for about two minutes, then someone suddenly realizes that nothing is happening.
At once, the whole building is resonating with shouts of 'Misra, Misra, fix the comp da'.. (Misra btw is the prof's pet :)

4. Picture this: For most of the time last semester, we had Vitto's class before Mantech,and in the neighboring room.Vitto used to come 5 minutes early, and leave us 10 minutes late. Now, though the Mantech prof strictly followed rule (1), when he did come, he used to be rather punctual. Every single time, he walks in to the class, and sees it totally empty because everyone's in the other class. Does his move about, and make his presence known? Pshaw! He declares a tea-break for himself, trots off to the Campus Cafe and comes back only about 30 minutes later! So, effectively, most of the classes we did have were about 20 minutes in duration.

I rest my case. :)