Sunday, June 04, 2006

Of Monkeys and Mantech

I've started believing in the Infinite Monkey Theorem seriously; How else can you explain these facts :

1.) During the very short period I was at home, DD1 manages to play 'BeLadingaLa Bale', one of the rarest of gems to have come out of the dingy, dank dirtmine that the Kannada film industry is. It's the story of a Chessmaster, Anant Nag, and a mysterious fan of his who reveals who she is through ways so interesting that you'd refuse to think it was Kannada movie! If you're a Kannadiga, and have not seen this movie, I will not say a thing to you. Not even my usual 'Ninna Ee Janma enu, hindina n janmagalu waste-e'. You deserve to grieve in silence.

If you're not a Kannadiga, the only recourse left for you is to learn Kannada and see this movie!

2.) Zee MGM finally decided to stop their 24/7, back-to-back run of 'Gangsters of New York', and aired a beautifully made Swedish-Arabic film called 'Zozo'.The greatest achievement of a director is when he can tell a story in a language that a listener doesn't understand, and Mr. Joseph Forres has truly done it.Was real sad that it didn't win an Oscar, though.

In other developments, I've just realised its that time of the year again! The time of infinite indecision,of a hundred equal choices,of sleepless nights spent in futile analyses of merits of each viable option, yes,its JEE results time! I belive my two years at IITM have given me adequate authority to speak about one branch in particular, and, with your permission,I shall proceed to advertise it.

So,Why should you join Mech at IITM? What is it that is the Hallmark of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras? The very vast opportunities that beckon after graduating ? The relatively better chances for pursuing higher education abroad ? The relatively less intensive course load that will enable one to enjoy at least a bit of one's college years? The multitude of companies that come for placement? Or, that most basic of human emotions, Schadenfreude, at seeing the
Elec junta suffer?


The Reason to join Mech IITM, the sine qua non of its very sustenance,is a course called ManTech.

1. For starters, where, in all of the fine Institutions in this land, will you find a professor having an grand unparalleled attendance record of 48% ? Yes, for a change, the prof never turns up!

2. If you thought that the time when you read a novel sitting in the last bench of Zoology class was fun,come on over to any of last 10 (out of the 15 available) rows to find Daily Crossie contests, heated debates on Page 3 personalities, learned discourses on why exactly Mr.S missed out on the X coordship in Shaastra/Saarang, and a critical analysis on precisely why that chick in that ad in Outlook has a high coefficient of prurient appeal.

3. It has been catogerically proved (paper on this to follow, CB, what say?) that a typical Mantech class cannot be modeled as a Chaotic system. Indeed, the Chaos model is inadequately stochastic ! Why? A Chaotic system is, by defenition, sensitive only to the inital conditions. However, in the case of a ManTech class, the system tends to go hayware at even the slightest disturbance anytime. Proof? The prof walks in, takes out a pen drive, and inserts it into the comp. He however does not condescend to such plebian labour as turning the comp on. The usual levels of random noise continue for about two minutes, then someone suddenly realizes that nothing is happening.
At once, the whole building is resonating with shouts of 'Misra, Misra, fix the comp da'.. (Misra btw is the prof's pet :)

4. Picture this: For most of the time last semester, we had Vitto's class before Mantech,and in the neighboring room.Vitto used to come 5 minutes early, and leave us 10 minutes late. Now, though the Mantech prof strictly followed rule (1), when he did come, he used to be rather punctual. Every single time, he walks in to the class, and sees it totally empty because everyone's in the other class. Does his move about, and make his presence known? Pshaw! He declares a tea-break for himself, trots off to the Campus Cafe and comes back only about 30 minutes later! So, effectively, most of the classes we did have were about 20 minutes in duration.

I rest my case. :)


Mahesh Mahadevan said...

Lovely reference to the Infinite Monkey Theorem - stochastic indeed, is our life, and ManTech was the epitome of a situation when the words stochastic, chaotic et cetera can prove to be inadequate(It is definitely very vetti to type out even the commonest of Latin phrases and italicise them :D).
By the way, thanks to our blog names, they figure out as 1st matches for atleast the keywords - arabian marasmus, and veni vidi vetti...
Strangely enough, vetti in Latin means 'he conquered'. Alternate meaning for a blog name eh?
I wait for the One-and-only-Apeman to comment on this post...

Mohan K.V said...

@sumsaram: you're serious? vetti means conquered? and, do you mean "he conquered" in the way latin verbs are expressed by default, or is it some horrible quirk like "I came, I saw, He conquered " ? Please don't tell this to me _now_ that I've managed to get on
top of google!

DJ Matt said...

Great work, man. have a look at the finer details of my I grade in the mantech grades sheet put up in the msb notice board, and you'll have another point to add to your blog. I'm not going to spoil your surprise by reveling the secret, but will give you a clue. It'd be wiser to go after 5pm, coz that's the time when noone will be around, so that you can have a CLOSE look.

DJ Matt said...

And, does this infinite monkey theorem, in any way, imply that my blog will contain all the published works of shakespeare, as my number of posts tend to infinity?
Ref: My blog title.

leftit said...

er... i am not sure abt this whole thing.. you want junta to join mech at IITM coz they have one single course out of the umpteen that they do .. where in the prof rarely turns up and even if he does.. he rarely goes beyond 20 mins?! :O
Or was this meant to be a big farce ;)

anyways, i admire your language da! seriously..

CB said...

Reminded of that, I thought of a wonderful topic for Ignobel!
Remind me later kv boy!

essen arren said...

you came to Bangalore? Che! what has become of our media..not even a word about you??

Naresh said...

nice post man.

1) where can i get my hands on that dig movie you spoke about? any chance in torrents? (who am i kidding?!)

2) the same points apply to almost all the other branches in insti. exceptions being elec and aero!

CuriousMoron said...

Awesome post !!

And I agree with you regarding the 'Beladingala Bale' thing.It is probably one of the few wonderful movies ever made in Kannada.

And try your hand at writing editorials for a prestigious newspaper :)

Mohan K.V said...

@ sribharath: enu saar, makhmal rumaal indale rakta baro taraha hoditiddiralla :)

wolverine said...

macha.. i loved the infinite monkey theorem....

but your rather humorous treatment of ManTech is not something that i agree with..

tht bloody ********** gave 5 W's in the course... not U's , W's!!!!!..

for someone like me the harsh reality that a decision like that presents is unimaginable...

CuriousMoron said...

enu saar, makhmal rumaal indale rakta baro taraha hoditiddiralla :)

Yaakappa ninge aa tarahada ondu doubtoo? Nothing of that sort :).Nija heLde sarcasm intended.

silentkiller said...

i like the way you write :)

BoFi said...


What is life but electrical engineering!!! You may please feel grateful we lent you the great Vitto for a sem...:P

And why was I not informerd in our numerous communications that you had started a blog? Many a wasted hour have now been deprived of me!

Arjun said...

Maga i have watched that movie.. great one.. also about IITM especiallu u guys, i miss u all a lot.
and this is greatest of all.. if u ever want to get accustomed to prepare nothing and not to worry to fail, come to ECE dept. IIT Roorkee- man i bet no one compete with profs. out of 15 major profs, 12 have retired and imagine the 'kirik' they give. tatas..:) :(

Haraprasad said...

i feel sorry for the prof.a whoever he is. He seems to have severe form of inattentive type ADHD.